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Healing

 

 

In an attempt to fill the void I have from the breakup – you can read about the breakup here:  http://daphnes-delights.com/2016/03/16/the-breakup/, I decided to make a few additional changes in my world.

So, I began with my home.  When we moved in together a lot of the decor was influenced by my ex.  I tried desperately to NOT make anything too girly (because he continuously complained that his ex-wife always did).

The master bedroom – what it was:  Paint – tan; lamp shades – maroon; bedding – maroon/print – somewhat masculine.

The master bedroom – what it is now:  The paint is the same but I’ve changed all of the bedding.  It’s now soft creams and greys with accents of a light pink.  I’ve included big, fluffy throw pillows with crocheted edging and one sparkly, beaded throw pillow just for fun.

The bedding I purchased was very similar to this Grey Comforter Set.  The throw pillows I bought are to die for – comfy and adorable.  Here are a selection of throw pillows to chose from pink throw pillows.  Now I need to find some girly lamp shades.  I’ve hung up some new artwork, put my craft supplies in his closet so I have easy access to them, and bought myself a soft fluffy blanket to snuggle up with.

I also rearranged my bedroom so it is NOTHING like it was when he lived with me.  I am attempting to wipe the slate clean!

I’ve also been spending a lot more time with my kids and grandkids.  The blessing in all of the heart break has truly been this time with them.  He never liked the kids to be around.  Now, I see them once or twice a week (the ones who don’t live with me).  We have dinner together, go shopping, go to the movies.  It is simply fabulous.

Another void filler is time with my friends because (you guessed it), he didn’t like them to be around either.  I’m able to go to girls night dinners, get pedicures, attend Sip & Paint events, even  *gasp*  have girls nights at my house……which previously was completely frowned upon.

I have even spent a couple of afternoons lying in my hammock.

I wish I could tell you that I’ve had time to read a good book but I haven’t.  I’ve been on the go pretty consistently.  I’m hoping that this winter I’ll be able to get a few good ones read.

Now, even with all these changes and void fillers I still have moments where I’m sad and feel lonely – almost 5 months later.  BUT it IS getting better and when I have those moments I try to remind myself that its only momentary.  And it ALWAYS is.

At the end of the day, my life is much, much better without him.  It’s just the initial change that made it difficult.  Every day it gets a little bit easier.  And I’m sure it will continue.

I’m planning a weekend getaway for me and ALL of the kids this fall.  My heart is filled with absolute joy knowing that they want to spend this time with me.

I am blessed.

Peace and Love to all of you, my friends.

 

 

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Moving On from a Breakup

 

 

So how long does this process take exactly?  When will he no longer be at the forefront of my thoughts and dreams?  I hate it. I simply HATE it.

I want someone to give me the exact steps that need to be taken to feel better and the exact date that it will happen.  And I want proof.  I want someone to tell me that in two months if you do x, y and z, you won’t even recall that you were in a relationship with that loser.

Don’t get me wrong, I have good days.  Days when I can focus on work, school and my family.  Days when I’m thankful and happy.  Days when I know this was for the best.

And then there are other days when I can still physically feel the pain of my heart break.  Days that I want to crawl under the covers and hide.  Days where I want to call him and beg him to love me again.

Of course the reason we aren’t together is still very clear in my mind.  But somehow, I keep getting stuck on the fact that had he truly loved me, there wouldn’t have been an issue to begin with.

I want to feel his touch, his lips on mine, the warmth of his body next to me.  And then sometimes, I just want to punch him.

It’s all soooo conflicting.