What is dating after 40 REALLY like?
One would assume that it would be easier because as a grown woman, you should know what you want and you might. However, the real deal is that it is difficult, if not completely impossible, to find what you want. It’s really a freakin nightmare.
The fact of the matter is that at this age – over 40, everyone comes with some sort of baggage – including you. Whether the baggage is children, a miserable ex, health issues, erectile disfunction, a limp, no job – there’s gonna be something.
I have also found that the majority of men my age-ish are either 1. Jaded and are either complete players or have no idea what they want so they’re wishy washy or 2. Are so desperate to find someone that they’re clingy – wanting to move in after the first date – UMMM NO.
And where do you go to find a date? A bar? Church? Online dating site?
I am not a church goer so that one is ruled out for me.
A bar – I have a friend who met her future husband by chance at a bar. He is a wonderful guy – has a good job, loves kids, treats her very, very well. But she is the only person I’ve known who has found a good guy in a bar. That isn’t the norm.
So that leaves online dating. I have dabbled in the online dating scene. Again, I know some people who have found their soulmates through online dating websites.
The ones I have tried were Match.com, Zoosk, eharmony.com and early on, POF. I guess I had the most “luck”, if you can call it that, on Match.com.
The thing about online dating is that people tend to misrepresent themselves – not everyone but in my experience, A LOT of people do – and I’ve heard from a lot of men that women do it as well. Whether that means putting up older photos of themselves, stretching their true height by a couple of inches, their true weight by a few less pounds, their employment status………well, you get the point. Anyone can say ANYTHING on there and they do. So you need to proceed with caution.
I guess the key is to keep an open mind and don’t give up. But while you’re waiting for your night in shining armour, don’t forget to take care of yourself – read a book, get a massage, go out with some friends. Enjoy your life.
And good luck out there!
Peace & Love.