Although I’m pretty sure “Penis Lull” isn’t a legitimate term or diagnosis, the struggle IS real.
The term sprouted while I was at dinner a few months ago with some friends (a few of us single). One of my friends said “I’m soooo in a penis lull”. It is what we have loosely dubbed our current attitude toward the opposite sex.
Penis lull is that kind of “meh” about getting out and dating, coupled with the inability to completely let go of our ex. While we don’t want the ex’s back and can CLEARLY recite each of their character flaws (i.e. why they’re idiots), we’ve hit an exaggerated dip in the healing process – a lull – and can’t seem to move forward.
Hence, “penis lull”.
On the other side of the coin, a close friend of mine left her husband (of 3 short years) AFTER I broke up with my boyfriend and she already has a new man in her life. SHE is not in a penis lull. She hopped right over the dip and jumped back in (and on).
Her breakup was just as, if not more difficult than mine was. So how did she avoid the lull? Is it simply that she has a stronger self worth than I do? Does she subscribe to “in order to get over someone, you need to get under someone”? I personally do not subscribe to that thinking by the way.
I saw her recently and told her that I was still in contact with my ex. Her response “Do you want me to throat punch you?” (did I mention she’s a little aggressive?!).
Is her aggressive nature what is keeping her out of the lull?
That could be it!
She is of the mindset that she is not going to let any man bring her down – it is simply NOT going to happen. So she cut her losses and moved on. She didn’t lolly gag around and feel sorry for herself.
I want to be able to cut my losses and move on. I’m not enjoying the penis lull. It’s horrible. I have no desire what-so-ever to date. NONE……..penis lull.
But beyond that, I want to be able to completely let go of the ex. I want to move on and be ok, really ok, being single.
So what do you do when you think you’re in a penis lull?
Right now, I’m spending as much time as I can with my friends – girl time – delighting in the fact that I can. I’ve also done a bit of redecorating, crafting, reading, clothes shopping – really enjoying myself.
Is it helping? Meh………..
Peace & love!