Well, the moving on process is going horribly. I fucked up and I slept with him – once (ok, ok – twice). I also had dinner with him another night………..and I’ve answered his calls and texts….
THIS isn’t technically called moving on, is it?
Sex didn’t make me feel any better – it actually made me feel worse after the “fix” wore off. And to boot, it was NOT very good. He seemed disinterested and didn’t even “finish” – either time. I think that made it much worse.
Why do I do this to myself? I’ve somehow tied this man to my self-worth and he is not worth that level of importance at all.
He still, after nearly two months, has shit (a lot) in my garage and is still whining that “his life is not complete without me”, sends me little kissy text faces but yet has done nothing, I mean NOTHING, to prove that his presence in my life would be valuable to ME. Clearly, its about him as it always has been.
I need to grow a pair, tell him to come get his stuff and move the fuck on with my life. I don’t want to waste any more time on this jerk. I’m tired of feeling bad. I simply want to live my life peacefully (as peacefully as is possible with teenagers in my house) and be happy again. Is that too much to ask??
Sorry for the spouting……….I needed to get it off my chest.