So how long does this process take exactly? When will he no longer be at the forefront of my thoughts and dreams? I hate it. I simply HATE it.
I want someone to give me the exact steps that need to be taken to feel better and the exact date that it will happen. And I want proof. I want someone to tell me that in two months if you do x, y and z, you won’t even recall that you were in a relationship with that loser.
Don’t get me wrong, I have good days. Days when I can focus on work, school and my family. Days when I’m thankful and happy. Days when I know this was for the best.
And then there are other days when I can still physically feel the pain of my heart break. Days that I want to crawl under the covers and hide. Days where I want to call him and beg him to love me again.
Of course the reason we aren’t together is still very clear in my mind. But somehow, I keep getting stuck on the fact that had he truly loved me, there wouldn’t have been an issue to begin with.
I want to feel his touch, his lips on mine, the warmth of his body next to me. And then sometimes, I just want to punch him.
It’s all soooo conflicting.