I first and foremost want to apologize for my absence. This has been one of the most difficult months of my life. My heart is filled with absolute sadness.
The man that I have loved (for many years) and I have decided to part ways. He is a narcissist and I was duped. I know ultimately, this is for the best. We are COMPLETE opposites and while opposites do attract, they also can, and generally do, implode.
When I say complete opposites I mean: he smokes weed, I do not; he doesn’t work, I do; he sleeps until 11:00AM, I’m up at 6:30AM; he believes respect is obligatory, I believe its earned; he thinks he gets points because “he never even cheated on me” and and I think there simply are no words for that statement. Ultimately, he stole from me and that was the last straw.
And honestly, the list goes on and on. I saw the writing on the wall a long time ago and ignored it. I wanted to avoid the “icky” part of breaking up – the painful, gut wrenching, ache that you feel when you hurt.
Over past 5 years I have lost both of my parents, divorced my husband of 2o-some years, watched my daughter go through a horrible addiction and took custody of my grandson. All while working and raising my other children. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing One. More. Person.
But now I have.
I’m on the other side of the “icky” part, still feeling the sting but not crying every 20 minutes. It just sucks.
For all of you struggling in a relationship, life is short. Do what you need to do to be happy. Even if that means in the short run, you have to be uncomfortable. Every day I feel a little bit better and stronger.
In the meantime, I will simply trust that this is what I must do. That the universe knows what’s best. It’s a process.
Peace and Love.